I’m sometimes confused with my parents; I don’t really understand what they want from me.
- Mum once said she hates the way I don’t take those ‘nonsense miscellaneous memories’ into my brain. Even I always think it’s a good thing, so I do get good grades at school as I rather remember what are actually important.
But what she said to my brother, ‘You better concentrate with your study! Not those nonsense stuff!’
- When I started selling things and blogging for money, those things which really take my time should be called ‘good jobs’ as I do have an effort in living on myself. She just slagged off ‘Am I not giving you enough money? Why don’t you ask for more? Or you think we’re that pitiful?’
But another day, she bawled ‘If you think you can ever make money, then go! And don’t ever come back to ask me for help!’
[I don’t understand whether she wants me to live on her money or not….]
- Dad complained me once that I talk ‘too indirectly’. So he couldn’t understand me.
But recently, he said ‘You’re too straight’ when I told him ‘Now, I don’t know’ instead of saying ‘I will be knowing’ as I used to.
- Mum and I were talking about my hairstyle, with my problem in speaking(because I was in a serious mind-shocking state which resulted as I couldn’t speak for a year), she eventually didn’t understand me.
So we ended up arguing, but, then she yelled ‘What is your brain used for? Why can’t you just understand me?’
- Mum taught me to be confident in my own look ‘don’t care what other people think of you, you’re yourself’
But today she just said ‘Why don’t you be ashamed with your embarrassing look? It’s so disgusting...’
[she said that just because I don’t want to have my hair cut, my natural curly-messy hair what I’ve got from her…Do I have to have my hair short just because it’s not straight? I’m not even a boy…]
- Mum said ‘I don’t want you to download those films off, that’s stealing! If you want some tell me, we rather buy them’
But when I asked her about them, she simply said ‘You’re too lavish! You shouldn’t pay for things you don’t have to buy…’
- Mum’s gone crazy every time me and my brother fight…She said she never expect to have TWO VIOLENT SONS
But she never mention times she had me bleeding…
- Mum doesn’t like me to lose my virginity too early, so she’s irritated when I hooked up with a boy
But when I hook up with a girl, she called me an ‘androgyny’
- Parents do say I’m ‘too quite’
But they always think I’m ‘provocative’ when I speak
- Parents do want me to be an honest person
But they do never define my opinions as ‘acceptable’ ones.
I don’t know what to say from now…I’m just a normal teenager, a girl who does have friends, be good at school, not mad at games, not psychic, not candy, not mean, not crazy at boys nor trying to be witch. I don’t kill even a little fly nor put my feet on the table.
I just never know how can I survive from parents? Don't know weather I’m not good enough?
Don't take drug, smoke and drink additionally
And for goodness, I'm turning 18 within 2 months and born to an Asian family...
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